UPDATE! An explanation as to where i've been
by Ilovemywolf
Summary: A detailed explanation as to why Im not dead, as some may lead you to believe... Haha :D My apologies for just leaving you guys! -Shannon


Hello there! Let me be the first one to tell you, I'm not dead. ;)

Hahaha- but seriously, it has been around 19 months since I last updated, published or even came on FanFiction. And holy shiz, things have changed!

Here's a few excuses as to why I haven't updated a story in a while…

1. I was fourteen when I first started writing stories on here. Fourteen. I am now 16 (it freaks me out every time I have to write that haha). I was immature, narrow minded and inexperienced when it came to writing. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, but what I was doing seemed to get good reviews and so I continued- completely unaware just how crappy my ramblings' were. Every time I read one of my stories back I cringe, embarrassed by my poor grammar, spelling mistakes and just general rubbishness of the story lines. (I'm English, its okay, I can make up words like ''rubbishness'' ;)) Sooo… I've been tempted a couple of times to delete all traces of my work from the internet, but every single time I end up reading the reviews, almost all incredibly sweet and encouraging for me to continue on with the series. Not to sound corny, but really, the guys and gals who reviewed are the reason my work is still on here. So thanky youuu ;)  
>That's the first reason for my lack of existence, immaturity.<p>

2. School. I was in year 9 and starting my GCSE's. Scary shiz for anyone; let-alone me. A girl who wrote stories on the internet about werewolves, vampires and hot steamy lovin'. Well, kind of. Haha. So school really got in the way when it came to writing chapters. I remember times during the week where I would be up at midnight, rushing to get chapters finished and published. Not really good for a 14 year old. I guess this is the main reason that I now think the stories aren't very good. I rushed, therefore didn't spend enough time making a chapter bigger and better than the last… my apologies for that.  
>I was never really good at English at school, being Dyslexic n'all ;) But I can now confidently –and happily- say that I am in a top set English class, getting A-C grades in my GCSE exams! I believe this is all because I experimented with writing in a different way when I was younger. So yeah, when I was 14 school was really just an annoyance and FanFiction was where I'd much rather spent my days. But at the same time, school was still wayyyyyyy more important; unfortunately FanFic just got put to the back of my mind.<br>Second reason, school.

3. Pure and utter laziness… Does this one really need much of an explanation? Mmm. To be honest, I started writing these stories when I was bored. I wrote some of one story, then had an idea for another and got to writing that, occasionally I would post random one-shots, all when I really should have been doing school stuff. It all got too much and I gave up. I'd completed one story, was in the middle of another, had posted a one-shot and was beginning to start the next part to the first story... Instead of doing the grown up thing and saying, ''okay, this is too much. I need to stop, think about this- return to this when you're not panicked about school or being pressured into writing more.'' Instead I just quit. And I didn't post anything for the next 19 months. I couldn't be bothered to do it anymore- I hated feeling guilty for not getting the next chapter up and disappointing people. I realise now that giving up really didn't help either. It wasn't until I saw on some FanFic Facebook page or something, someone had asked 'what happened to ilovemywolf?' Someone else replied ''r.i.p'' :O I sat staring at my computer for 10 minutes thinking 'WHAT THE HECK! Gotta. Fix. This.'

So in conclusion, this is really me fixing this. Kinda. An apology also. I have been thinking alot over the past week about writing this- drafting it in my head and how it came out are two completely different versions, but oh welly! At least I have written something explaining my absence, tehe.  
>Right now, I am not planning on writing or finishing any stories on here. I don't know. I'm usually quite implosive, so if you randomly get a- what is it now? An Email? Bump inbox type thing? I don't know anymore haha- thingy from FanFiction telling you that I have posted something new cheeeeeeeck it out :D<br>Once again, thank you again for the continuing support- even now I will randomly get an Email telling me someone has added me to their favourite author, favourite story or added the story to their watch list! It's just so amazing that people are still reading ''The Cullen's spend a week on Isle Esme''… considering just how terrible it truly is… :')

I will write you, when I write you! Thanks again, for being understanding an' all that :D I hope you are all well! And are continuing with your own little adventures in life ;)

Love, Shannon! oxox  
>ilovemywolf (and o'boy do I still adore Jakeypoos! ;))<p>

Ps. I'm not sure where I am going to post this. Maybe after the Cullen story, possible after Emmet's list of luxury, maybe even as a whole new 'story'. You may find this posted in multiple places. Okay. I'm done. Seeeya! x


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